


something to talk about

by cloudburst



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: M/M, introspective henry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 15:19:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19275985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudburst/pseuds/cloudburst
Summary: That morning he’d distracted me, and even though neither of our schedules ever allowed us to be late, we pretended that they did. He kissed me near the window; the sunlight was streaming through, soft yellow light pooling on the floor. The curtains were open.





	something to talk about

**Author's Note:**

> first fic for this! first ever songfic i've written, italicized line breaks are the lyrics

_There's a rumor going 'round about me and you._

I’d never been one to stand out – had maintained the image of the perfect heir from day one, being photographed with nondescript blonde women that it felt so poor to use. I regretted the photographs, every one of them. I had done what I had to – had only done what was expected of me, but I had allowed myself to live in a lie.  
(Alex tells me, often, that I cannot blame myself for that. I tell him that I do, anyways. He pretends that he understands, and I love him.) 

_Stirring up our little town, the last week or two._

I’d never been one to stand out – dressed simply, to the point with muted colors that allowed me to blend with the portraits of old men in powdered wigs that lined the walls of Kensington. (Now, he’d whisper in my ear as he approached me from behind, going up on his toes as his arms circled around my waist. _’That’s boring, sweetheart.’_ I’d put on a tie with a little more color, maybe find a pocket square. Baby steps were everything at the beginning, and they continued to mean the world – just as he did.) 

_So, tell me why we even trying to deny this feeling. I feel it, don't you feel it too?_

Then we made history; we stood out together. I was out – proud. I was everything I had never thought I could be. I was happy. (I still am.)

_There's a rumor going 'round, and 'round, and 'round._

That morning I wore a mustard tie, the first one he’d seen me in following the beginning of our text flirtations – the one I’d chosen, picturing his validation in the form of hushed whispers in my ear as I did so. My suit was black, crisp, and he’d managed to muss up my hair and crease the pants in a few places they were not meant to. (That morning he’d distracted me, and even though neither of our schedules ever allowed us to be late, we pretended that they did. He kissed me near the window; the sunlight was streaming through, soft yellow light pooling on the floor. The curtains were open.)

_What d'you say we make it true?_

Riding in the car with Alex, I often thought about the kiss we shared that rocked both of our lives so completely – him holding me in a way fitting of someone who would love you till death, an intimacy between us that even a long-range lens could not betray. I think of the fact that our moment was stolen from us, a breath shared between the love of my life and I that grew into a moment, and then a movement. 

_Well I can shut 'em down, tell 'em all they're crazy. I can do whatever you want me to do, baby._

He was so brave in agreeing to tell the truth. Though it was what I wanted as well, I didn’t feel it – brave, that is. I just wanted to be happy. I wanted to stop using lovely women as cover-ups, and I wanted the world to know he was mine – is mine. 

When he kissed me by the window that morning, I felt no fear. We were known, and no one could take that from us. I sat next to him in the back seat of the car, our hands clasped tightly together. He smiled as he leaned into my side, his voice low, hushed as he spoke softly in my ear. “I love you, sweetheart.” It never got old. It never will. 

He stood at my side as I gave the speech. (Afterward, beneath the cover of night and golden sheets across a soft mattress he would repeat how proud he was – like a mantra. I had never believed anything more, other than the depth of my feeling for him. I knew two things: 1. Alex loved me, and 2. Alex was proud of me. Both were given, and both were reciprocated. Perhaps I knew four things.)

_Or you could lay one on me right now._

He kissed me after I’d cut the ribbon for the new youth shelter. I hated to do it, fearing it would draw attention from the issue of homelessness in LGBT youth to me, but the crown was insistent. (Alex said that me being near anything made it turn to gold. I told him he’d always been golden, and he laughed and laughed. His laughter rang with the heavy tone of old riches, molten, yellow hued metal seeping from the sound. It was treasure, and I would continue to cash in.)

I hated to have the ceremony, but I loved to kiss him; the cheers came up around us as the ribbon fell to the ground, his arms wrapping around me, hands at the back of my neck – pushing up into the styled hair he’d then ruined twice that day. I held him tightly to me, as if the world would end if I did not. And though the kiss was chaste by standards I may have established in my mind for the both of us, I felt it in my chest – my heart speeding up as the feeling spread out from the thumping like wildfire. I was set ablaze. When we broke apart, the cheers continued – as did my own personal celebration. It had done so since we had exchanged our first ‘I love you’s,’ had done so since I had begun to fall in love with him. 

He made flowers grow in my chest, where there had once been no viable soil – only the potential for heartbreak and lies. When we kissed, I felt flame in my lungs, licking into my throat as his hand came up to rest there, palms searing into my skin – leaving invisible marks beneath fingertips. I felt them with me, always. When we made love, I felt fire. 

_We could really give them something to talk about._

**Author's Note:**

> if u feel so inclined, i'd love to know what you think


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